Sunday, January 30, 2005 . 7:42 PM

Just woke up.. after abt 7hrs slp.. from 10-5.. den nw den got abit more energy to recall and blog abt ytd.. haha.. still damn tired..

okayz.. so ytd was de picnic outing.. great fun.. the whole day was gd.. mayb coz i had a lighter mind.. or can say i heck care certain stuff even if i see wif my eyes i take it as nth.. loLs.. hurhur..

woke up at 11.30am ytd.. coz since dar dowan mi giv her mornin call at 10.. BUT.. i woke up and found out she still haven leave house.. i wasnt surprised.. but. stil felt abit dissapointed.. anyways.. she tried her best to rush over.. kinda 4got wat time she reached le.. i tink arn 12.50pm.. stayed til arn 2.30 (all estimated figures.. brain not 100% alive yet cant remember).. den together go mit de rest at century arcade le..

loLs.. at arcade.. so many pple.. left soon after we reached.. coz gotta wait for ber and hen play finish para.. den wait for henry and kenny tan play finish ddr.. whacky game sia.. dey 2 play 2 songs.. hen bth pass to me.. but yongbin and kenny ho wan play afronova.. so let dem play 3rd stage.. den i played 4th and 5th.. AS usual the sensor spoil.. failed sia.. lmao. but it was whacky.. alot funny stunts..

so.. left for marina le.. loL i and.. (erm duno who) tot it was marina SOUTH.. but its marina SQUARE.. lmao lmao lmao.. made me keep thinkin the past few days *marina south.. real picnic on grass all these??*.. reached there.. had a small argument abt where to walk.. which place to camp.. blahblah.. but in the end we settled down.. BRING ON THE FOOD.. erm.. but the food wasnt that impt actuali.. like wat tianming said.. it was the gathering.. everyone crapping around.. nice moments.. after some hours.. it was off to bugis. by foot. bwahahah.. but nth much lar.. suntec.. den bugis.. all near near..

so.. reached bugis.. erm.. not sure wat time.. so afew of us went to can cafe.. de rest.. erm.. duno.. tink dey go play DD.. anyways.. we nua at can cafe oso for some hrs.. enjoying the ambience.. playin cards.. tink both dar and me got some deep memories of de place.. but hers is hers.. mine is mine.. not together de.. tink kenny oso got some ba.. din ask him.. too bad didnt sit beside the "Rules" that signboard.. mm..

after dat.. went to arcade arn 9+.. or actuali is arcade de toilet.. den dar and kenny went home.. hen went to find de rest.. me and ber play drum awhile.. surprisingly i can pass DD5 after so long of not touching drums.. and both times got a B.. normally C.. well DD5 is alright compared to the other DD series in Drummania.. oh and while i was playing my 2nd game.. Makiyo came and played on de other drum set.. erm.. Makiyo is.. a GM.. from a game which i and ber played few yrs back.. she's gd in drummania too.. one of the few girls that are gd in SG i think..

after that.. went up to find the rest.. all sitting outside fba.. crapping.. again toktok for another 2hrs + i tink.. wait til arn 12mn or so.. went in le.. den start nite pack.. abit unfortunate we had 6pple.. cant DoTA together all in 1 team.. so.. erm.. wun elaborate much on that.. but in the end still played.. i'm still in learning process.. though i nvr fared well in PvP stuff.. regardless of wat game.. thats y bnet i mostly play TD.. or hero siege. or anything as long as not PvP.. PvM still gd.. same for d2 oso.. haha.. ok wont go there..

so.. left fba at 8.. nite pack finish.. so me,ming,hen,ber, sit no.12 bus go home.. heng the bus is the old old type.. air con not strong.. if not bloody cold le.. coz the breeze already made us *brr*.. so.. reached home 9.. bath.. let hair dry.. slpt at 10.. dropped dar a gdmorning msg.. den ZZZZ.. til 5pm..

sigh.. recently i'm in saving $ mode.. so i'll only go out if its planned very advance.. coz i nd to budget wat to spend on wat day.. and the occasional outings.. so to some people whom i've declined to go out alot of times le.. if u read dis blog.. hate me if u wish.. but none of u noe hw serious i am if i realli want to save.. basically nw i'm serious.. coz i wanna settle my debts.. already begun process of settling le.. to those concerned.. u noe wat i mean.. =) and it feels gd to be able to return money owed.. big burden off shoulders.. though i still hav aloooott more to go.. 90% of the time i'll decline last minute outings.. but of course i'll see la.. if last minute is just to go out nua.. still can consider.. but again hav to see.. sch reopen le.. proj comin in.. so.. let things be the way it will be ba..

vdae coming.. well.. tink again i quote from ming's blog.. no matter hw oso we'll stil be affected in some way.. lookin at all those sweet couples on that day.. hearing abt hw our attached frens celeb their lovely day.. though everyday can be v.dae, but this particular date just has this effect, no matter how small or big.. its there.. ironcally i hav had gfs.. but i hav NEVER celebrated v.dae.. coz fate doesnt seem to let me haf a gf at this period of time.. consecutive duno hw many yrs le.. bah.. well here's wishing everyone.. single/attached/gay/lesbians/gh3y/whateva.. happy valentines day.. *Cheers* XD

Thursday, January 27, 2005 . 4:32 AM

Nth much 2dae.. I've been staying home for like 245284824 days le.. Buay tahan.. So 2dae went out lor.. Alone take 12 go bugis.. I made use of the whole journey to enjoy the outside scenery.. Though i can memorize the 12 route.. But.. It just feels different after staying home sometime.. Not to mention didnt take that bus for quite sometime also.. Tend to look at it a different way.. Nua at arcade awhile.. Wait for dar and xian to come.. Tot dey gonna hang out awhile.. But it wasnt for long.. Oh well.. I've learnt not to be sad.. even if minor minor simple stuff which i expect doesnt come true.. Its a sad issue.. But yea like i said.. I've learnt not to be sad le.. Or at least i'm TRYING.. Just seem so hard when u have emotions taking over your thoughts..

For the past hour (or maybe 2,3) I park my IE at tianming's blog.. Listenin to his blog song.. Starting i nvr realli paid much attention.. But i knew the song was nice coz of the melody.. Until today.. I heard the lyrics.. Almost memorized le.. And almost cried also..

Too tired le.. imma go slp nw.. I miss someone.. But there's too much restrictions.. Too many barriers.. Too many fears.. And these together.. Makes me keep everything to myself.. Wat to do.. The things you wanna say, but cant.

"I'll remember you.. And maybe thats foreva true..
You're the one that i'll always miss.. Neva thought it would be like this..
I'll be there for you.. No matter what you're going thru..
In my heart you'll always be.. Foreva baby i'll remember you.."

Tuesday, January 25, 2005 . 5:45 AM

haiz.. so. it didnt turn out well for dar.. and xian.. nth went well at all.. fack that bitch(referrin to the one workin at de saloon).. wont say details here.. not needed ba.. all i noe nw is that they super dl,angry,no mood,facked up.. wateva.. and me.. im not feelin that.. i'm just sad.. y things muz turn out lidat.. haiz..

as for my day.. well.. nth much.. again stayed at home.. somehow during the afternoon alot of thoughts came back again.. basically started wif me tryin to remember what i lost when my old pc died.. and.. i remembered.. all the pics taken wif my webcam.. of my mei,alex and me.. and pics of denise when she was at my house.. lol.. and slowly alot of stuff came back.. chain reaction.. memories.. happiness.. heh.. but i came back to reality soon.. coz my maple char nearly DIED.. LMAO!@~~.. yea i was practically thinkin abt all these.. and my subconscious mind playing maple..

sigh.. i wan to go out.. tink i will.. coz i nd to go cmpb defer ns.. though thats not my idea of 'going out'.. but bah.. i just wanna go out.. the world out there is beatiful.. the air is fresh.. nature is soothing and provides a serenity that nothing else can.. not even close.. too bad not everyone wants to just go out and nua le.. kinda leaves me thinkin.. have they changed? or am i still stuck in the past not willing to move on.. i think its me.. oh well.. everything lasts as long as it will.. ever since that event i more and more started to believe in fate..

time to go slp.. dar say she dowan me stay awake coz of her so she go slp le.. i somehow think she's still awake.. but i can understand her feelings.. wasting a whole day, and quite an amount of $.. for nth.. kk better stop b4 i start my logical crap.. which is logical. but crap. erm. shit its starting.. *force myself to stop typing* XD

Monday, January 24, 2005 . 3:21 AM

wahz. quite awhile no update.. simply coz nth's been goin on.. ever since exam ended on 20th its been staying at home, not going out, playing games, nua, resting.. and somehow thinking of some1..

lols.. dar later going to dye hair wif her baobei le.. haiz.. almost a perfect oppoturnity for me to go oso.. coz quite cheap.. BUT. i just cut my hair abt a week ago.. so.. erm.. quite short la.. den if go dye.. abit waste $ rite?? some of u shld noe when i go cut.. how short it is compared to if i dont cut.. mayb its just me.. but no meh? short short hair go dye.. er.. or mayb i nvr dye b4 so mayb i just paiseh.. lols.. though i reali wan dye.. den oso scared parents kpkb.. argh.. den i asked dar if can mit them after they are done.. but due to some reason.. in de end i decide i betta not go.. sigh..

now playin wc3.. ops ang speakin of wc3. betta go back.. i afk in TD map LOL..

Wednesday, January 19, 2005 . 9:05 PM

update.. died another 2 more times in maple.. duno wtf i doing.. woot.. thats around 18-20% gone for 2dae.. nice. so happy.
I lost my appetite.. lost my mood.. wanted to chiong and lvl up b4 going out.. but no nd to go out le.. and i died.. % went back to wat it was 4hrs ago.. jump b3 every channel got pple.. keep falling down at the final part b4 the portal when jumping.. facked up day.. mayb i'll just go out alone.. since i think thats wats the person up there's trying to tell me.. fack..haiz.

Monday, January 17, 2005 . 1:59 PM

Some pics from maple ytd.. Rayner going off le so i jump in b3 wait to take over.. Den drew wanted to pass rayner stuff so he *ahem* use hack to jump.. LOL i nvr use hack lose him abit oli.. SIAN.. *oops bhb* Anyways here are some pics we took.. Fun stuff..

Starting formal wear..Take some pics.. Drew,Me,Rayner..





loLs~ After that informal le.. SM drew liaoz BWAHAHAHA..







Erm.. Suan siao abit la here.. LoLs ugly wooden shield XD jkjk..



Dis.. Nice ma?? 3 invis.. Hoe Lee Pawrr RawKs~!~~~!! (Holy power rocks)

Sunday, January 16, 2005 . 5:20 PM

hmm.. i have come to blog.. hmm.. well.. nth to blog.. k bb all.. LOL..

okok.. got ONE thing to post.. my term test timetable.. duno for wat oso.. but i thought just put ba..

Tues 18/1/05
12.30 - 2pm Inter-networking
3.30 - 4.30pm Business Strategy and Planning <--- THIS IS NOT A CDS.. Dun ask me why this subj is in my course.. THE HELL I KNOW.. ROFLMAO..

Thurs 20/1/05
9.30 - 10.30am Internet Computing Applications

Tmd.. look at the timing on thurs.. EARLI LIKE SHIT..

Saturday, January 15, 2005 . 1:37 AM

Argh.. sometimes i just dont know wat i nd to do.. doesnt mean i not silent anymore means i'm ok.. in fact.. i just realized coming back from my 'minor' mia made me feel worse.. so anyday.. i might just go mia.. lets see wat the nx few days are like.. felt like typing a proper post.. but i tink nvm.. well.. take care pple.. if i do go mia.. shld b obvious.. rem to not jio me out.. shld b easy to do ba.. since its been done before.. =)

Tuesday, January 11, 2005 . 11:17 PM

i always wonder.. will there be any difference if i'm gone.. i noe there will be.. but to what extent?? what lvl of importance am i to each person that noes me.. reading certain stuff causes me to feel i'm lousy.. i cant make pple feel truely happy from deep inside.. i cant leave behind happy memories to cherish for those who hav been close to me in de past but not nw.. there's nth that i am proud of.. there's nth that i can boldly say about myself.. i try my best to achieve certain things. and the more i try.. the more trouble i cause to myself.. and who noes mayb to frens as well.. i try again.. and it gets worse.. and it doesnt help that i keep getting misunderstood.. or mayb its just pple dun understand me.. or mayb pple dun realize wats in front of them until its gone.. been a boring few days.. trying to make myself happy.. but my stupid curiousity always undoes what my heart is trying to do.. end result: even more unhappy.. or depressed..

my dad gave me $50 to return fren.. asked me if i needed more.. i said none.. when in actual fact i owe about $200+ more.. haiz.. i wonder sometimes if i shld just stop making sacrifices in every aspect of my life.. will it be better? or will it be worse?? the sacrifices i make.. at least make pple happy.. and myself sad.. but if its the other way round.. pple will not b happy.. term test is coming soon.. again i'm distracted by certain 'issues' in my heart.. which actuali is de same issue always.. duno why its always this type of 'issues' in my heart.. argh.. i'm realli gonna disappear one day..

things dun look as they seem.. the ocean surface is calm but its nvr so on the underneath.. sigh.. oh well.. i'll remind myself life goes on.. i'll make myself happy.. i'll crap to myself.. blahblah.. well.. tc folks..

Sunday, January 09, 2005 . 9:23 PM

hrmz..2dae come blog..bart ish for ytd de..coz at nite come back home too tired le..den jitao ko..den 2dae abit nua..til nw den i decided to blog abt it oso..

okayz.. ytd morning.. wake up 9am.. coz dar miting xian go eat bk breakfast.. den i tink since i was on de phone wif dem the prev nite.. den dar ask mi wan go along oso nor.. both me and her thinkin same thing.. "will xian mind anot" coz dowan another incident like the other time.. i dowan to cause the 2 baobeiis to quarrel. heh. bart she say nbm de so i oso tag along lor.. rofl.. so me got the job to gib morning call to xian.. and dar oso lar actuali.. though she say dowan.. but i tink still mux call both of them.. coz one no job become super nuaster le.. the other one just ton at fba.. scare reach home ko le.. so hengheng i call both.. both oso awake.. so later meet dem at pav de bk arn 10.30 lidat lorz.. eat and crap abit.. xian seems sotsot coz lack of sleep.. LMAO..

den after dat.. went to pasir ris.. check out their ring which dey wanted to buy.. den since after that was 12noon nia.. so stil got alot time so we take bus12 down lor.. but the farking bus was SUPER shaky.. KNN@$^#$%#%#%.. and not double decker sommore.. $@#$%#$^@$%#$^@$%$#^@%@#!#$$^.. we starting heck care coz all we wan is to catch some slp while on de bus.. but den after that i was thinking.. omg shld have waiting for nx bus.. i didnt slp at all man.. too shaky.. ok mayb short few min nap.. but no use oso de lar.. den halfway along the bus trip.. ber called me told me ming and hen oredi at fba.. dey went there earli.. so when we reached bugis we straight away go find dem lor.. abt 3+ den left there.. go bugis village there buy hen's stuff.. tot wan allocate abt 1hr+ for that.. but he settled it in like.. 20mins max?!?! den went to the nearby atm coz ber and dar wan take $$.. den i noticed the sky dark le.. told tianming.. den we decided.. better go back parco.. at least there can gaigai..arcade.. den time up le can go off to 85 for ba chor mee le.. BUT tmd wan go back liao.. den rain.. heng ber got umbrella.. gave it to xian coz she just rebonded hair cannot touch water.. de rest of us chiong lor.. but not so bad coz rain smaller abit le.. hrm.. bugis removed the para machines.. and totally removed.. it was the first arcade to put para back then.. now its the first to remove it totally.. LOL.. *thinks back during the earli para days*.. but realli weird de leh. para one of the main forms of income for tka bugis le.. why take away.. but.. heck i oso not owner of arcade..

as usual.. at 85 le.. had usual ba chor mee.. crapped alot.. nth much happened.. teck and calvin keep making fun of dar.. erm.. not exactly nice to mention lar.. but lol at that point of time.. i oso cant do anything.. anyway they dun mean it.. dar oso noe.. dar oso nvr take it seriously bahz.. muz be sporting oki dar.. u oso everytime say mi octopus.. xP

after 85.. went back century.. nua there for about 1hr.. dar left arn 8.40 coz mitin her cousins at 9 at pasir ris.. the rest of us.. suddenly decided go pak lan.. wc3.. lols.. not bad.. alot fun.. yongbin,kenny,angeline came halfway so they just went 3rd floor play pool.. after dat ming and hen went home le.. left me,ber,teck,calvin,eugene,yongbin.. go mac sit down crap again.. waiting for some of their frens.. de fren say wan treat vodka.. bart end up he acctuali oli left $60+ i tink.. not enuff.. but reali alot of crap.. all luff like hell.. coz teck and calvin super GH3Y mind that nite..bth!!! den dey say wan go ber house.. but all delay delay.. end up ask me and ber go first coz they not sure.. liews -.- wasted abt 1hr lidat.. my eyes was so heavy.. so faster go ber house select wat mp3 i wan.. den i go home le.. lols end up when we walking halfway to her house.. they called.. decided to come after all.. so i duno wat they did after i left le.. most prob watch movies on ber's comp bah..

wows.. long post again.. SORRY.. 2dae reali alot tings happen mar.. loooooooooong day.. tts y i didnt blog immediately.. see? proof le.. haha.. *gone*

Friday, January 07, 2005 . 10:45 PM

Erm.. sorry to all.. seldom update.. coz nth happy to update abt.. i dowan to keep posting sad stuff tts y no update.. but 2dae is happy~!~ so i update.. lols.. here goes..

Wee.. 2dae.. finally met tianming.. not at a hospital.. but outside at century square.. wootz XD.. it feels great to hav him back around laming wif us.. actuali din plan to come out.. bart last min ber told me ming at century den ask wan come out nua awhile since all so bored at home.. so why not.. of course go lor..

met at century le.. den go tm walkwalk.. haha.. must replenish vitamin for the eye ah.. not oli ming.. but ming,hen,me.. wahhaa.. poor ber complainin she cannot replenish vitamin.. wahahah.. den farnie de.. take escalator all de way up to 4th floor.. walk one round.. den go all de way down to b1.. escalator oso.. den all leg tired le.. go to mos burger den sit at one of the tables there crap for abt 1hr+ i tink.. shun bian buy some snacks eat.. bought some sushi from cold storage. den i oso got buy spring roll from old chang kee.. haiz.. memories come back in from the recent past.. but lets not tok abt that.. anyways de food was nice.. didnt disappoint me XD.. no $ if not i sure buy the octopus snack.. erm.. duno wat name izit.. but alot of stuff from old chang kee ish nice.. ~>.<~

after dat.. duno where to go le.. so we just walked back to century.. den tianming say wan play game.. so go up arcade again nua awhile.. he played rock fever.. me played TC3.. lols end up all waiting for me coz i took too long.. =P paisehz.. erm.. den nx went down century food court to eat.. wanted to eat teppanyaki.. bart i not eating.. so cant.. if they eat i hav to sit elsewhere coz i got food at home le not eating wif dem.. so dey just go order other stall.. den as usual.. eat and crap.. blahblah.. its pretty much as fun as usual.. lotsa crabbies flying arn.. ops i mean lotsa crap going arn..

ming say he wan go cut hair.. coz his behind part at the neck.. long le.. same as me.. but of course his is longer.. i mean i oso nd to go cut.. den he say wan go dye hair oso after he cut.. bart.. same old problem.. $$$$$.. i told him i oso wan leh.. dye hair.. bart.. everytime i tok abt this topic.. i on one side wan to dye.. but on the other side scared ugly.. coz i nvr dye hair b4 in my life.. and nvr realli care much abt my hairstyle.. or hair color.. at all.. so now suddenly i wan to dye.. must be more conscious of my hair le.. how?? how?? my parents didnt let me dye b4.. but i tink dey shld noe i'm old enuff le ba. i wan to try new thing.. haiz hope dey allow..

dar nw at dinner.. wif someone else.. hope she enjoyin herself.. duno wat time she'll be home though.. anyways.. dar wan noe more details abt 2dae.. u noe how to find me ba.. corr or msn or maple or rose.. etc etc.. lmao machiam alot methods.. whoops i sot tio le.. *gonez*

Sunday, January 02, 2005 . 2:02 AM

-An Jing-

Haiz.. i may not say out everything.. i may not tell u what i noe.. i may not seem as sad as i realli am.. But.. i do noe.. and i am sad.. but.. i'll just keep it to myself.. coz its no use spilling out..

wat i suspected from the start.. was true.. though it didnt end the way i suspected.. which was a bad way.. but.. its still bad in another sense.. think i stop here for this topic.. reali cant say much.. now read back wat i type.. oso quite chim.. coz 90% of details i hav to hide.. i'll step back if i hav to, i'll hide it if i must, i'll do wat i hav to do if de need for it arises.. sighz.

its a new year, and indeed new stuff will happen.. as for me, well.. new stuff did happen.. but.. its bad stuff.. dont know when the gd stuff will come for this yr.. but.. i'll be waiting for it.. i dont hav resolutions.. coz i'll just get dissapointed if i dont get or work for wat i want in de end.. and furthermore even the simplest of things which i hope and wish for.. i cant get..

ming~ if u readin dis.. i'm waiting for sushi buffet!! loLs~

Saturday, January 01, 2005 . 6:42 PM

Arghs.. so many nbpcb hackers in maple.. and add on that its a weekend.. AND MY FUCKIN PENTIUM4 PC.. i repeat.. PENTIUM4.. lags even worse than my OLD 450ghz PC.. ALL ADD TOGETHER.. make me so farking dulan.. and to add on.. THE TOTAL LAG.. made mi die in maple.. YES ITS JUST A GAME.. but i hav a target to reach.. and i'm already behind schedule.. work hard, play hard.. thats the reason why i'm taking it seriously.. den.. DL liao.. pple duno how to comfort me.. still add more oli to de fire.. gimme attitude.. PISSED.. NOW WHAT? PPLE ANGRY MY FAULT?? I ANGRY ALSO MY FAULT?!?! WATEVA HAPPENS.. ALL MY FAULT?!?! FINE~~ I've been taking this kinda shit for a long time in my life.. i'm not gonna be my old self anymore.. ««**gimme some VERY GOOD reasons why i should be..**»» yes life's nvr sweet.. i noe.. yes not everything goes the way u want.. i noe.. THATS why i've been tolerating wateva's been happening in my life for the past 20years.. and sadly, those of u who applaud my great patience.. WELL.. THAT PATIENCE IS GONE.. FUCK IT!.. it'll probably be back.. the OLD me will probably be back.. but we'll see when..

P.S: HAPPY new year to all of u, coz it aint so for me. *gone mia*
Hrmz.. New year eve.. this is the MOST MOST simplest new year eve i had in years.. lol.. but it was also one of the better ones..

Anyways.. to summarize things.. had the usual sch lesson from 8-10am.. den went to cyber center to play maple.. was gonna play til 1pm, den go home continue play.. but den aggie ask mi wan join dem for lunch.. den y not ba.. coz since they coming tp eat oso.. so i left around 12.15.. met aggie,huixian,denniz.. went up to mensa 2 to eat..

Den.. something yet funny, yet i din luff much.. happened.. denniz fall down!! loL?? umm.. i din luff much coz the 2 gers in front of me block my view.. and denniz was in front of dem.. so din see his face, or his pose on the ground.. haha.. oli manage to see his leg like got bend abit.. er duno hw to describe.. but both aggie and xian luffin non stop after that.. denniz realli -_______________________-"".. bad impression wor... mit u first time u fall down le.. tsk tsk.. LOL!!! joking hor denniz.. bu yao take knife poke me ><

after dat.. went cineleisure..den heeren.. den far east.. girls did their shopping.. took neoprints.. had dinner at Hans.. fooled denniz into buying that ice cream from the dutch stall or somethin lidat.. fool arn wif u de.. haha.. song bo denniz? =X dun worry i oso kena b4 =)

hrmz.. nth else to add le.. goin to slp soon.. bth le.. wan to lvl up before new year.. but now.. 2am+ le.. i oli 65%.. omfg.. sad.. haha..

Happy New Year to all~~ 2004 is gone, 2005 is here.. Let us move on with a fresh mind, and a fresh attitude, with new resolutions, new objectives.. Good and bad things have happened this year, as with other years back.. But they must not be forgotten, as they serve as a foundation for us to build a better life.. in the New Year.. Wahz wat i tokin.. anyways... PEACE OUT ALL~~ CHEERS TO 2005~!~!~!~!!!!~~!!~!!!!!111!!!~!~!oneone!!11~~~!~!!!1one